Finally! Someone has our best interests at heart

By: Shakespeare. Yep, Shakespeare.
Contributing Writer

I have a huge workload this semester - somewhere around 28 credits. I can honestly say that I would not be able to handle this much of a load if I went to any other school, mostly because Monmouth College has taken the obligation of establishing my own moral code off of my shoulders.

The office of student affairs and higher officials have created a new policy that may or may not already be in effect regarding dorm life. If you read the Monmouth College website, you will notice that it says different dorms have different visitation hours. Some are unlimited, and others have 16 to 18 hours a day, depending on the day of the week.

The idea is to make a uniform visitation policy for all of the dorms, so it seems fair to the students. The best part is that this entails a daily 12-hour visitation policy across campus.

Words cannot describe how relieved I am. Every night, as I fall asleep, I am kept awake by the idea of sinful or unsavory acts happening in my very building.

We are assigned our own dorm rooms for a reason. And if you are stupid enough to go off and sleep in the wrong room or even the wrong building, you should keep your ignorant concerns about this subject to yourself.

It’s not completely clear whether this has already been put into action or not, but I have noticed security doing walk-throughs in the dorms. Other people have said what they are doing is completely against protocol, a blatant invasion of student privacy and a damaging blow to the feeling of independence in the dorms. God knows I feel safer already.

But who’s to say independence is really that great anyway? I think I speak for everyone else above ignorance on this campus when I say decision-making is a burden I don’t need on my shoulders right now. What am I, forty?

We are at college. I find it hilarious that people are protesting the decisions of the people in charge. Just because we pay them thousands of dollars to go here, does that mean we have the divine right to challenge their ideas?

It is hard for me to even look at what the protestors are doing as ignorant. What they are saying is simply outside my scope of vision, and I am a very open-minded person, mind you.

If you disagree with this policy, you are obviously hopelessly misguided about the significance of higher learning. College is a place for education, and education only. Where in that sentence do you see any of the words “mischief,” “promiscuity” or “rebellion”? Where?

I hope you have learned something by reading this today. Something about rationality. Something about morals. Something about the actual focus of higher education.

But with this audience, I can only hope.